Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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