one might say we're banned from that church
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
