Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
