Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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