it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
