good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm both gender and math confused
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
