If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
