Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
