I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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