don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
