What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
