You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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