it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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