apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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