you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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