this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
