I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
