Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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