We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
