I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
