is your mom at the bar?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
