Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
