I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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