is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize