i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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