remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
