Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
