Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
