Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My penis needs a shock collar
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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