Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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