He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
