I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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