Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
