So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
