She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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