More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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