Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
