i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
