week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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