Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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