I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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