I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's official drugs can't kill me
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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