I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
