ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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