11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
