My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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