Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
