oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
