I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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