I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
