barbara walters just said penis...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
