My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize