You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize