So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
