so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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