your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
