this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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