Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
