i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize