I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
