Nicole vs. Life
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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